Consumed with Grief

They say writing is therauputic so here goes...

I've never went thru anything like I have since July 31. 

I've never felt a pain like I have since July 31.

I've never known exhaustion like this since July 31. 

They call it grief and it doesnt just go away. 

I've had people die before, people I've been close to, people I miss every day but losing my baby sister is the worst pain I have ever experienced.

Pain & Guilt 

Guilt because I didn't go to Colorado as we laid her to rest, Guilt because my family needed me and I wasnt able to go.. people ask me...would Rachel want you to risk your recovery and go..no she wouldn't but I have guilt. This is something I am working on. 

As kids we fought like siblings do but when she moved to St Johns to be with me, we grew so close, and we have stayed that way, not one fight, or even a disagreement but that's who she was.  She didnt like to confront anyone so she would smile and sometimes pretend to agree. 

My sister wanted to be a nurse but when she met David, moved to Colorado she wanted to be a wife and a mom and she was so good at it.  She would do anything for Dave and those kids and now they begin a new normal without their mom and wife. 

Christmas was her fav time of year. I would always get pictures the day she started decorating, she would ask my opinion what should she buy for mom, dad etc.  we would always facetime while opening presents... This year I won't have that.  We will have missing gifts under the tree, missing person around our table and that hurts like hell.

This year she is celebrating in heaven where there is no sadness, no grief, no tears, no sickness, the only hope I have is that I will meet her again until then I will go thru the waves of grief, I will take care of her babies, and I will miss her every day.  I will never not think of her, this year she will be on our tree instead of gathered around it. 

Now im done writing because I am so tired, even my fingers are tired of typing.

**Three Months Without You**

Today marks three months since you left this world, and the weight of your absence is as heavy as ever. It’s hard to put into words the ache I feel, a constant reminder of the bond we shared and the moments we will never get to experience again.

I find myself replaying our memories—the laughter that filled our home, the late-night talks that stretched into dawn, and the countless adventures we embarked on together. Each memory brings a mix of joy and sorrow, as I remember your vibrant spirit and how you lit up every room you entered.

Life without you has been a journey through waves of grief. Some days are bearable; I can smile at the memories we created. Other days, the pain feels overwhelming, like a shadow that follows me wherever I go. I often reach for my phone to share a moment with you, only to be reminded that you’re no longer here.

You were more than my sister; you were my confidante, my supporter, and my anchor. You understood me in ways that no one else could, and your wisdom guided me through life’s challenges. I miss your laughter, your voice, and the way you always knew how to make everything feel okay.

As I navigate this profound loss, I am learning to honor your memory by embracing the lessons you taught me. You showed me the importance of love, compassion, and resilience. I want to carry those values forward, to live a life that would make you proud.

Though the pain of missing you will never fully fade, I take solace in knowing that your spirit lives on in my heart. I promise to keep your memory alive, to speak your name, and to share our stories with others.

Thank you for being the incredible sister that you were. I will forever cherish you and hold you close in my heart. Until we meet again.

Dont stop searching for joy

You’re going to have bad days.  

Sorry to tell you that, but it’s true.   

You’re going to have bad days, and bad moments. 

Sure, you may even have a really crummy week.  

 But none of that qualifies for a bad life.   And I need you to remember that the next time life feels heavy. I also need you to remember no matter how bad your current situation is - There is always a reason to keep going.  

No storm has ever lasted forever.   

And none of yours will either.   

It’ll always get better; it’ll always get easier.  

Just don’t stop searching for the joy, Love. 

 As long as you keep looking - You’ll always find it.   

I promise.   

Enhancing The Natural Strengths Of Your Face

 We should all love the face that we have, and the distinct qualities it offers us as individuals. However, one of the best ways to do that is to know exactly what those strengths are and how you can play up to them. Here, we’ll look at a host of tips, from natural beauty-boosting exercises to more involved solutions, and how they can help you make the best of the beauty you have.

Image - CC0 License

Take Care of It

The foundation of showcasing your face’s natural strength begins with proper care . Moisturizing daily and staying hydrated are key steps to maintaining healthy, glowing skin. A well-moisturized face not only feels smoother but also looks more vibrant, allowing your natural features to shine. Hydration, both through topical products and drinking plenty of water, helps to keep the skin plump and youthful. Additionally, using products suited to your skin type, such as gentle cleansers and sunscreens, can protect the skin’s barrier and prevent issues like dryness or irritation. By nourishing your skin from the inside out, you ensure that your face has a healthy canvas.

Accentuate It with the Right Palette

Choosing the right makeup palette can highlight your face’s natural strengths, such as your eyes, cheekbones, or lips. A subtle application of foundation or concealer that matches your skin tone helps create an even complexion without masking your unique features. Blushes, bronzers, and highlighters in complementary tones can enhance your bone structure, giving your face a more sculpted appearance. For the eyes, selecting shades that contrast or harmonize with your eye color can make them stand out, while lip colors can add balance and symmetry. The key is to enhance, not overwhelm, allowing your natural beauty to be the focal point.

Enhance What’s There

For those seeking more defined or enhanced facial features, non-surgical cosmetic options like chin filler, cheek fillers, or lip enhancements can be a viable option. These treatments can add volume or contour to areas that may lack definition or symmetry. Chin filler, for example, can provide a more balanced profile by adding structure to the lower face. Dermal fillers, in general, are designed to highlight and enhance your natural features without drastically altering your appearance. Consulting with a professional ensures that the enhancements suit your face’s proportions and bring out its natural strength in a subtle yet effective way.

Try Out Some Facial Exercises

Facial exercises, such as facial yoga, can also help strengthen and tone the muscles in your face, improving its overall appearance. Regularly performing exercises that target areas like the jawline, cheeks, and forehead can increase muscle tone and improve circulation, giving your face a more lifted and youthful look. These exercises are simple, often involving stretching and holding different facial expressions to work specific muscle groups. Over time, they can help reduce the appearance of sagging skin and fine lines, further emphasizing your face’s natural strength.

Enhancing your face’s strengths can lend you the confidence to hold your head high and truly turn some heads. Keep the tips above in mind and see how they work for you.